


The Duty That Can Not Be Forsworn

by TokuTenshi



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Childhood Friends, Dorks in Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Laugh it Off, Minor Angst, Puns & Word Play, Tags Are Hard, finding love in war, guess i'll add more later, secret childhood friends, should i just keep going?, we get over it, what am i even doing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:35:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TokuTenshi/pseuds/TokuTenshi
Summary: Duty has always been an important cornerstone of the Cousland family way of life. Kaedence took this to heart, adding her own rules and codes to abide by at a young age that helped her navigate the people around her. She kept these guidelines into adulthood, steering her through shady politics and unscrupulous nobles, and hoping they would lead her back to the friend she had failed so long.(Forgive the poor summary)





	1. Prologue ~ part 1 ~

By all accounts, it just didn't make sense. Teryns were a higher nobility than arls, yet the Couslands left their home to visit the arling of Redcliffe to honor a wedding they had missed. There had been less than a month between the engagement and marriage in Denerim and many of the guests that normally would have attended the event were left no time to make the necessary arrangements to see their lands taken care of in their absence. Arl Eamon was completely understanding of the position he put so many in and extended invitations to Redcliffe Castle for any who still wished to give their blessing to the union at their leisure.

Kaedence blew a frustrated puff of air at her long bangs as she slumped in the carriage. Being dragged to, what she had been taught to understand, a lesser noble's dwelling was bad enough, but her mother had insisted on presenting her as a lady of the family. The girl pleaded with her father to be allowed to dress as normal, but he was powerless against Eleanor's persuasion. “Sorry, Pup,” Bryce had said with a sympathetic look. “Best do as your mother says.”

So there she was in a white dress and embroidered jumper, dark hair swept up in pigtails on either side of her head and pouting fiercely as they passed the village and made the final stretch to the castle. “Kaedence, darling, don't slouch!” Eleanor reached over and swatted the girl's arm lightly. “This is your first time out of Highever and you could meet any number of people here. I'll not have you give them a poor first impression.”

“She's six,” Bryce chuckled. “I think they'll give her a little leeway.”

“And if King Maric is here, will you still care so little?” The teryna raised a brow at her husband, watching him shrink back slightly. “I thought as much.”

“But why would the king be here?” Kaedence grumbled. “His Majesty was at the wedding in Denerim, wasn't he?”

“True, but you can't count him out simply because of that,” Bryce began as he took hold of the child and sat her up straight. “Arl Eamon was Queen Rowan's brother and the king has any number of reasons for visiting, announced or no.”

“Yes, little brother,” Fergus said with a grin from beside her. “Remember your manners.” Kaedence frowned and swung her leg, kicking him in the shin. The young man grimaced and made to kick her back.

“Fergus, honestly!” Eleanor chided. “We'll need you to watch your _sister_ for a good deal of this visit. Please at least _try_ to act your age and stop antagonizing her.”

The family had managed to collect themselves by the time they passed under the gates and entered the castle courtyard. The captain of the guard was there to receive them as they climbed out of the carriage and the first thing Kaedence noticed were all the different standards the soldiers wore there. It seemed some of the other visitors felt the need to bring a few house guards and she wondered if they should have brought some of their own men as well. Teryn Cousland shook the captain's hand, recognizing the man from the rebellion and made light conversation as a few servants saw to the family's bags.

“As you can see, you aren't the only ones here, your lordship.” The captain motioned around the yard. “We've the Gilfords, Macrows, and the Howes already present.”

“Rendon Howe is here?” Bryce didn't bother to hide his surprise. “After the way he spoke of the Lady Isolde, I didn't think Arl Eamon would allow him to set foot in Redcliffe.”

“Pardon my saying, but you know Howe,” the captain sighed. “He's got an excuse for everything.” The men shook hands again and parted ways, a servant leading the Couslands into the keep.

“The Gilfords and Howes have young children as well, boys, I believe,” Eleanor mused as she held Bryce's elbow.

“Eleanor, I think you may be getting ahead of yourself.”

She smiled lightly. “It's never too early to make a match. I hear Teryn Loghain's girl is already promised to Prince Cailin.”

“Yes, well, those circumstances are considerably different, Love.” Bryce chuckled before glancing behind him at his silently brooding, yet perfectly postured daughter. “Let her have a few more years before you marry her off.”

“How right you are. Fergus should be my focus at the moment.” The teryna sighed and shook her head. “Boys are so much harder to arrange for, especially when they've done nothing of note.”

“I'm walking right behind you, Mother,” Fergus grumbled.

“I'm sorry, did the truth hurt your fragile pride?” Eleanor called over her shoulder. “You still have time to get your act together.”

They arrived in the main hall, finding the visiting nobility chatting amongst themselves as the arl and new arlessa stood on the dais before the fireplace. Bryce lead his family to the couple and bowed, before looking up with a smile. “Arl Eamon, welcome to the joys of married life. I trust you haven't saddled your bride with too many duties yet. It takes a lot to be an arlessa.”

Eamon chuckled. “Isolde has all but taken control of the castle, I'm afraid. She revels in the responsibility.”

“Then you can relax at last.” Bryce grinned before turning to the blonde woman before him. “Lady Isolde, I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one to get their private victory from the rebellion. Pining is just no fun, is it?”

The Orlesian blushed and smiled timidly. “No, Teryn Cousland, it is not.” She looked to the others beside him. “Is this your family?”

“Yes, this is my wife, Eleanor.” He motioned to his side and grinned slyly as she curtseyed. “ _The Sea Wolf_.”

Isolde's eyes widened with recognition. “Oh! So that would make you _The Soldier_ , yes? That's still a popular tune.”

Eleanor paled slightly and glanced back at her confused children. “A-allow me to introduce our eldest, Fergus.”

The teen bowed, giving his mother a strange look before turning his gaze to the arl. “Congratulations on your wedding, my lord. Highever looks forward to future dealings with Redcliffe.”

Eamon nodded. “And we with you, young man.”

Eleanor sent a silent prayer to the Maker before urging her other child forward. “This is our daughter, Kaedence.”

The girl held out her skirts and curtseyed awkwardly as she stared at the arlessa. “The way you talk, its so pretty. Is it because you're pretty?”

Isolde blushed and smiled sheepishly at the young girl. “Thank you, but no. This is the way all Orlesians speak.”

Kaedence furrowed her brow in confusion. According to the only interesting part of her lessons, Ferelden had just kicked out the Orlesians after a long occupation. Weren't Orlesians the bad guys? From what she understood, Arl Eamon fought hard in the rebellion and was a smart man, loyal to Ferelden. He wouldn't be swayed by a pretty face and give up his ancestral home for no simple reason. Eleanor began to panic as she watched the wheels slowly turn in her child's head, unsure what would pop out of her mouth and was too late to stop the girl from speaking. “So, the arl loves you?”

Eamon chuckled and bent down to become eye level with the young girl. “He does indeed.”

“Ah, then its okay.” Kaedence turned back to the fidgeting woman. “You can stay in Ferelden. I won't let them kick you out for being Orlesian.”

“That's... thank you, child.” Isolde smiled behind her hand. “I am glad for your support.”

Bryce gave his wife an amused look before looking at their host. “I believe we've taken enough of your time for now, Arl Eamon. May the Maker rain blessings upon your union.” He lead his family away and patted Kaedence on the head. “That was very nice of you to say, Pup.”

She looked up curiously. “She can't be a bad person if someone loves her. Its a rule.”

“That's stupid,” Fergus muttered.

“Is not,” Kaedence huffed.

“You both did us proud a moment ago, please do not spoil the feeling so soon,” Eleanor sighed.

“Bryce, I did not expect you to bring the entire clan with you.” Rendon Howe came up behind the group, toting his own family. “Quite the turn out for a full Orlesian bride, wouldn't you say? My poor Eliane received none of this and she's at least half Fereldan.”

Eliane reached out and touched her husband's arm lightly. “Rendon, dear, it doesn't bother me. I'm rather glad that we had close friends witness our union instead a mob of suspicious nobles. Times are different now, and as the little one said, Arl Eamon does love his bride.” She smiled softly at Kaedence. “Such a sweet girl. I believe this is our first time meeting.”

“Indeed it is,” Eleanor quickly asserted herself and pushed the girl forward slightly. “Kaedence, this is Arlessa Eliane, the wife of Arl Howe. You remember Arl Howe, don't you?” She nodded and curtseyed to the pair.

“Such a lady for so young a girl,” Eliane tittered lightly behind her hand and Fergus turned around fully to keep himself from laughing at the comment. The arlessa motioned her own children forward. “This is Nathaniel, our eldest.”

The young man was nearly Fergus' age and greatly resented the idea of being introduce to someone half his size. He looked down at the child and raised a brow, only bowing after being nudged by his mother. “Hello, lady of Highever. A pleasure to meet you.” Fergus sighed from the other side of the group, completely understanding Nathaniel's feelings.

“And Delilah, who will be reaching her ninth year next month.”

The girl dipped smoothly. “I hope we shall become friends, as our fathers before us.” Kaedence looked the girl over carefully, finding her every bit the proper lady she could never be herself. Being friends wasn't very likely.

“Finally, there is Thomas.”

The only child to not have the mother's raven hair, Thomas was a little younger than Kaedence and a bit chubby for his age. He bowed awkwardly, then eyed the Cousland girl. “Your not a lady. Ladies are pretty.”

“Thomas!” Rendon snapped at the boy. “That is no way to speak to a Cousland. Apologize.”

“He's right though.” Kaedence shrugged, her pigtails swaying with the motion. “Fergus says it all the time, too.”

“Fergus!” Eleanor turned sharply to her own son. “Don't be filling your sister's head with such ideas.”

“If its true, its true, Mother,” Kaedence frowned in confusion. “No need to get so upset when someone is honest.”

“Now, Pup, maybe you and Delilah can go play somewhere?” Bryce looked at Rendon.

“That sounds like a fine idea.” Arl Howe nodded. “Delilah, why not go teach that string game you like to Kaedence?”

“Of course, Father.” Delilah smiled and took hold of the other girl's hand, dragging her away to a quiet corner. She withdrew a length of string tied in a loop from her pocket and began to weave it through her fingers.

Kaedence watched, disinterested, and just wanted to be out of the stuffy room. She put her finger in the spots the other girl instructed her to and feigned excitement as Delilah finished the pattern. Unfortunately, acting wasn't a strong suit of hers.

“If you think it's so boring, maybe you should give it a try?” Delilah offered her the string. “Its a lot of fun, honestly.”

The younger girl hummed and slipped the string around her fingers, moving it around and directing Delilah to put both of her wrists through two spots. Kaedence continued to move the string until she gave it a final tug, but instead of the woven pattern slipping free, the string only tightened on the other girl's wrists. “I guess it is harder than it looked...”

“That's not how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to make my hands free and say _tadaah_ at the end.”

“Oh.” Kaedence looked around a little, then grabbed a dagger from a distracted guard's belt and sliced the string off. “Tadaah?”

Delilah glared fiercely. “No, you cheated! You cheated and you ruined it!”

“It was my first time playing. How can I have cheated if you never told me the rules?”

The older girl opened her mouth to argue, but stopped as she realized the other was right. “Well... you still ruined it.” She folded her arms. “Go away. I don't want to play with you any more.”

Kaedence shrugged and went to return the small blade, but the guard she'd taken it from had moved. Not wanting to get in trouble, she tucked it in the back of her waistband and tried to find him.

“The Formari brought her back last week and they're just beginning to ween,” Isolde said excitedly to a nobleman. “A whole litter of tiny mabari right here, just waiting for the kennel master to raise them to defend Redcliffe.”

Kaedence forgot her task and hurried over to the Orlesian. “Puppy mabari?! You really have some?”

Isolde turned from the man she was speaking with to face the child once again. She blinked away her surprise before smiling and bending down. “Yes. Many, many little war hounds. I am eager to see them grow.”

“Arlessa Isolde, you have the heart of a _true_ Fereldan.” Kaedence nodded emphatically. “May the puppies get big and strong and protect your family.”

The Orlesian placed a hand to her chest and held back the tears. Practically every day after the occupation ended, she had been treated with suspicion and accused of all manner of traitorous intentions for her new home. Eamon had been the first to see her as a lady of Ferelden and few others had followed him as of yet, but this little girl before her gave her hope for the day that everyone would. “Thank you, child.”

Kaedence gave her a wide grin before rushing off to find her father. When she did, her parents were speaking with another couple while Nathaniel and Fergus leaned against a wall and chatted lightly. “Father! The arlessa has mabari puppies! Can I go see them?”

Bryce looked down at the eager excitement in his daughter's eyes. “Well, I suppose if Fergus goes with you-”

“Absolutely not!” Eleanor cut in.

“Dear...”

“The messy kennels are no place for a young lady,” the teryna explained. “Just stay here and play with Delilah some more.”

Kaedence pouted and walked away. She really hated being a girl sometimes – boys got to do everything! She stilled as an idea slowly began to take shape. If girls weren't allowed in the kennels, then she would just have to be a boy. She snickered quietly and slipped out of the main hall to an empty corridor. After checking that no one was coming, she took the dagger from her waist and grabbed hold of a pigtail. She cut the styled locks off, then repeated for the other side and shook her hair loose from the ribbons. Kaedence pulled off her detailed jumper and awkwardly cut her dress past her hips, exposing the leggings and boots she'd snuck on before leaving Highever. She never liked feeling exposed in billowy skirts. So drafty...

She stashed the mess she'd made in a corner and made her way out the door. The guards stationed there gave her an odd look, but said nothing as she dashed down the stairs and went around the yard. She just wanted to see the puppies, maybe play with them a little, and then she would put the jumper back on and fix her... She stilled and realized there wasn't a way to fix her hair and would definitely get in at least a little trouble. Well, she was disobeying her parents by doing this, but she _really_ wanted to see the puppies.

After wandering around for a while and checking several doors, Kaedence was beginning to think she'd been tricked and there _were_ no kennels. If that were true, she'd take back all the nice things she said to Lady Isolde. Lying to children was against the rules. Fearing that asking an adult would only get her brought back to her parents, Kaedence sought out someone closer to her age. She managed to find one in the stables poking a pile of hay absentmindedly with a pitchfork. He was a bit older, but didn't really seem busy.

She took a steadying breath and hoped her alterations to her hair and clothes would work. “You there, fellow boy,” she called out from the other side of the stable's gate. He turned around and raised a brow. “Do you know how to get to the kennels? I've been walking in circles...”

The boy continued to eye her curiously and for a moment Kaedence thought she'd been caught. “Yeah, through that door.” The boy pointed behind him. “Then you take two lefts and a...” He paused. “Or was it one left?” He stabbed the pitchfork in the hay, leaving it standing straight up so he could fold his arms in thought. “Let's see, if you are coming at it from _this_ side, its...” He laughed awkwardly and scratched his head. “Tell you what, how about I just take you. I'm not the best with giving directions.”

“If you don't remember well enough to tell me, how can you take me?” Kaedence frowned in confusion as the boy walked out of the stables and latched the gate behind himself.

“Muscle memory, fellow boy,” he explained with a grin. “Like how you can lace your boots without thinking about it and just look down and, whoa, laced boots.”

Kaedence hummed thoughtfully and followed the boy as they moved across the yard to the door he'd pointed at. As it turned out, there were right turns and a set of stairs he'd completely forgotten about between them and the kennels, but after a little while the pair made it to their goal. Kaedence rushed forward to the large cage, disappointed to find the sleeping puppies and mother secured away from her. She stretched her arm through the bars and tried to touch one, making all sorts of awkward grunts and whimpers. The boy began laughing at her efforts and she turned around to level a mild glare. “What?”

“You're a bit strange,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, and?” This was nowhere near the first time she'd heard this news.

“Strange is fun.” The boy sat on the ground beside her and looked at the little dogs. “Why are you so determined to play with them? They're little more than lumpy skin with ears at this point.”

“Because mabari bind with only one master and follow them _everywhere._ ” Kaedence looked longingly at the litter. “I've seen a few when people visit father – they get so big! I think I could ride a full grown one.”

“Oh, there's an image.” The boy tilted his head. “Do they make mabari saddles?”

“They must. I can't be the first person to think this...” Another thought struck her suddenly. “So who names them? The kennel master? The Arl?”

“You know, I'm not sure.” He folded his arms.

Kaedence hummed quietly as she stared at the dogs. “Arl Howl.”

“What?” The boy turned to her.

“That would be a good name, I think.”

He grinned and turned back to the animals. “Bann Fleagan.”

“Arl Barkland,” she added.

“Teryn Mac Grrrr.” He elbowed her and she began to giggle.

“Arl Woof,” Kaedence managed to get out before the laughter completely overtook her and she fell to her side.

The boy laughed himself. “I _knew_ there had to be a reason to study Fereldan nobility.”

“Yes, those dumb lessons have finally done some good.” She picked herself off the floor and wiped at her eyes. She'd told herself that after looking at the puppies she'd go back to her parents, but the main hall was so boring and this boy was funny. While she hadn't interacted with many boys, those she had met were either whiny or snobby and just an all around pain. “Why aren't more boys fun like you?”

He reached out and punched her arm lightly. “Don't go selling yourself short there, you're pretty fun.”

Right. She was a boy. Maybe the other children she'd met acted the way they did because she was a girl. Would this boy act different if he knew? “Well, I can't play by myself all the time and my brother is too old to have fun with. I'm a _bother_ to him.” She had tried to sound annoyed, but from the way the boy looked at her she knew it didn't work. Kaedence looked down and tugged at the fraying edge of her former dress, trying desperately to to keep her sadness away.

“Do you still have some time?” The boy climbed to his feet and offered her a hand. “I know where we can find a really, _really_ big cat.” She stared at him and nodded, letting him help her up. “Great!” He smiled widely and pulled her along through the lower levels, ending up outside behind the stables. The boy dropped her hand and turned to face her, making a shushing motion before quietly creeping to the corner of the building. Kaedence followed him silently, her light footfalls being a small point of pride which enabled her to sneak extra snacks from the kitchen under Nan's nose.

The boy pointed to a large cat stalking an unsuspecting pigeon. For such a big animal, it moved with a surprising amount of stealth. “He's got to be part cougar or something...” Kaedence breathed in awe as they watched.

“Dire cat,” the boy corrected.

“That's not a thing... is it?”

“Definitely. Just _look_ at him!” He whispered harshly.

The cat drew closer to the bird, bending low and readying to pounce.

“Wait... is he going to attack that pigeon?”

The boy turned to her with a smirk. “He's going to _swallow_ it.”

Kaedence dropped her mouth in disbelief. “You're having me on. There's no way.”

To her surprise, the cat jumped on its prey and managed to do just that, taking the entire bird into its mouth and gulping the feathered creature down in one swift motion. The boy laughed at the look of utter horror on her face. “See? I told you.”

“Di... did he _unhinge_ his jaw?!” Kaedence watched, mortified, as the cat calmly licked its paws and settled down in the sun.

“Like I said, dire cat.” The boy sat down on a nearby crate and held out his hands. “You see, Ferelden's Circle of Magi lies on the other side of Lake Calenhad and the mages do all sorts of _weird_ experiments on animals, pulling beasts from the Fade and twisting them into grotesque creatures! This cat was one of their earlier creations, but he escaped and swam all the way here to be free of the torture they subjected him to. Who knows what could emerge from the lake next? A fire-breathing bunny? A half-fish, half-goat monstrosity? Maker help us if they ever figure out how to put wings on cows!”

Kaedence frowned suddenly and folded her arms. “I believed you for a minuet there. I was actually terrified of Redcliffe.”

The boy grinned sheepishly at her disapproval. “Sorry, guess the joke got a little out of hand. But Redcliffe _is_ pretty scary, now that Lady Isolde is here.”

She tilted her head in confusion. “The arlessa? She's not scary. She's pretty and nice.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “To you, maybe, but she _hates_ me.”

“Who could hate you?”

Again, he snorted. “Lots of people, apparently.”

That didn't seem possible. “Well, I like you.” Kaedence felt a strange tightness in her chest as she said the words and could suddenly no longer hold the boy's gaze. The new sensation scared her and she wasn't entirely sure what had caused it.

“One down, an entire castle to go,” the boy sighed and leaned back on the crate, staring up at the cloudy sky.

“Do they know how funny you are?” She said after the tightness had faded. “If they're laughing, they can't be hating. Its a rule.”

The boy looked down at her curiously. “A rule? Whose rule?”

“My rule.” Kaedence climbed up on the wooden box and sat beside the boy. “I have a people code. Its how you can tell good people from bad ones.”

“Oh?” He raised a brow. “And how's that worked out for you so far?”

She smiled. “Pretty good, I'd say. For example, you're funny, so that means you're a good person. Mean people can't make others laugh, but for some reason they often find themselves hilarious.”

The boy hummed in thought. “Think I know a person or two like that. Ahern is always-” He stopped suddenly, frozen in horror. “I was supposed to have the horses brushed and fed by now. Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot!” He slid off the crate and rushed around the building, hopping over the latched gate and scrambling to grab a brush. Several other tools were knocked to the ground in his haste and the boy cursed quietly as he tried to pick them all back up.

“You made this look so easy,” Kaedence grumbled, trying to pull herself over the low fencing. She flipped suddenly and hit the dirt with a startled shriek, one boot caught awkwardly between the posts. She tried to kick it free, but found it to be firmly wedged and painfully twisted. If Fergus was there, he would surely laugh at the strange position she'd landed in for several minuets and never let her live it down.

“Hey, hang on,” the boy called out, dropping the tools back to the ground and moving over to help. He inspected the situation and tried to pry her foot loose from a few different angles, each attempt drawing a different muffled squeak of discomfort from the girl. The boy frowned and unlaced the boot, shaking his head. “I don't like those sounds you're making.”

“Well they aren't intentional,” Kaedence groaned as she looked up at the boy standing over her. “I just wanted to help you with your work, since I'm the one who made you leave in the first place.”

“And a fine job you've done at that,” he sighed and grabbed her under the arms. “Brace yourself, this won't tickle.” He pulled her back as quickly as he could, yanking her foot free of her boot and the wooden posts. Kaedence bit her lip to keep from crying out, but she couldn't prevent her eyes from watering at the pain. “Alright, let's have a look.” The boy squeezed along her foot and ankle, frowning further as she whimpered at the pressure. “That's not good.”

“Is it broken?” Kaedence asked fearfully, her hopes of slipping quietly back into the main hall unnoticed completely dashed.

“No, but it'll need to be wrapped,” he sighed as he stood. “Stay put, I'll be right back.”

Kaedence lay on her back in the dirt, blowing at the choppy hair in her face as she stared at the planked ceiling of the stables. None of this would have happened if her mother had just agreed to let her see the puppies or if Delilah wasn't so mean or if she wasn't dragged to Redcliffe in the first place. Nothing good ever happened when she had to follow other people's rules, that's why she made so many of her own.

The boy returned and plopped down with a roll of linen in his hands. “Lucky for you I'm rather accident prone myself, so I've had a lot of practice with this sort of thing.” He wrapped her ankle, focusing on making the linen snug and secure, but not too tight as to cut off circulation. When he finished, he leaned over and tugged her boot free of the fencing. The boy carefully slipped the boot back on and laced it up, patting the foot once he finished. “Let's see if that did it.” He stood up and took both her hands, pulling her to her feet.

There was a mild throbbing and she wasn't going to be jumping around anytime soon, but Kaedence could put weight on the foot easily enough. She looked up at the boy sheepishly, embarrassed for the entire thing. “Thank you...”

“Hey, what are friends for?” The boy grinned widely and Kaedence felt her face heat. He bent down and picked up two brushes. “Did you still want to help?”

“Y-yes.” Kaedence awkwardly accepted the offered brush and did her best to follow the boy's instructions on the proper grooming techniques, needing to stand on a low stool to reach the top of the mounts.

“No, you got to do it harder, firmer strokes, or else you don't actually get them clean.” The boy grabbed her hand and moved the brush a few times down the side of the horse. “Like that, see?”

“O-okay. Sorry.” She pulled her hand free and focused on the animal's flank.

“Don't sweat it. Took me time to get the hang of it myself, but now I'm a master.” He grinned and flipped the brush in his hand.

“Don't be getting all smug on me now,” Kaedence sighed, shaking the awkward feeling away again. “If you start boasting too much, I'll have to dislike you.”

The boy chuckled. “Is that another rule?”

She turned to him with a grin, but dropped both it and the brush as she locked eyes with Fergus on the other side of the gate. “Uh oh...”

“Uh oh is right, _little brother,_ ” Fergus growled in annoyance, storming into the stables and grabbing her wrist. “After finding that little stash of yours, I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!” The teen pulled her from the stool and dragged her out the gate.

“Fergus, wait!” Kaedence looked over her shoulder desperately at the boy, the first person she could truly call friend.

“You are in _so_ much trouble. Mother will have an absolute conniption when she sees you.” Fergus increased his pace, tugging the girl behind him. “And don't you dare try and get me in trouble for this too. This was all you.”

“But I-” she tried to explain what she knew to be weak reasoning, but her brother was moving too quickly to properly keep up and her sore ankle twisted under her after a particularly hard step. She fell to the ground with a muffled cry, feeling the pain shoot up her leg all over again.

Fergus turned around with a firm frown, but quickly replaced it with concern as he took in the sight of his sister gripping her ankle and fighting back tears. “Are you okay? I didn't think you tripped that hard.”

She shook her head and met his eyes. “I hurt it earlier. That boy wrapped it for me, but you're too fast.”

He looked back at the stables to see the other kid leaning over the fencing, as if on his way over to help. Fergus raised his hand and the boy stopped. “Looks like you will be able to get me in trouble for something after all,” he sighed remorsefully. The teen scooped up his sister, ignoring her embarrassed squeaks of protest, and carried her inside. Kaedence watched the boy from over her brother's shoulder until the doors blocked him from view.

Fergus set her down on a bench in the corridor, removing her boot to get a look at the injury. “That's pretty swollen... You should stay off it for a while.” He sighed heavily and brought Kaedence her jumper. “Stay put. I'll go get Mother and Father.” He took a steadying breath and walked back into the main hall.

Kaedence looked down at the clean dress, knowing she was in a great deal of trouble. Seeing the puppies had been fun, but definitely not worth the punishment she would receive. On the other hand, by running off, she had made a friend. A small blush crept onto her dirty cheeks. Meeting him had been worth it.

“Maker's Mercy, what happened to you?” Lady Isolde pressed a hand to her chest in surprise. If Kaedence hadn't been holding the dress, the Orlesian wouldn't have recognized her as the sweet Cousland girl at all. “My dear, are you alright?”

The child looked up, equally surprised. “Arlessa Isolde...” She lowered her eyes, suddenly aware that her appearance was far from appropriate.

The arlessa turned to her maid. “Fetch a wash basin and whatever else you can find.” The maid dipped her head and scurried away as Isolde knelt down before the child, taking in everything from her messy, chopped hair to her dirty, ripped clothes, and the wrappings on her ankle. The woman frowned in concern and shook her head. The maid returned and set the basin on the floor beside her mistress, removing the items inside and pouring clean water from the pitcher.

Isolde dabbed a cloth in the water, silently taking inventory of what the maid had brought. “Now then, sweet girl, why don't you tell me what happened to you?”

“I...” Kaedence sheepishly raised her eyes. “I wanted to see the mabari puppies, but girls can't go in the kennels.”

Isolde began cleaning the dirt and tears from the child's face, chuckling quietly in amusement. “So you made yourself a boy in order to play with dogs?” She rinsed out the cloth and gently wiped the girl's pouting face. “I hope you do not do this often.”

“I'd never seen puppies, only the real big ones.” Kaedence met the arlessa's eyes excitedly. “Have you seen them fight before? Mabari are mighty warriors and can make full grown men run scared. They don't even need armor!”

Isolde smiled and nodded, picking up a comb and working on the choppy mess adorning the child's head. “And did you find the kennels?”

“The boy in the stables showed me.”

The Orlesian stilled. “I see.”

Kaedence suddenly remembered what he had said to her about the new arlessa. “He was very nice and really funny. He wrapped my ankle when I got hurt, too.” She held out her leg, hoping that praising the boy would allow Isolde to realize he shouldn't be hated.

The woman continued to work the comb through the hair. “He is not a bad child, but...” She shook her head, unable to bring herself to explain her jealousy to the young girl before her. Isolde stood up and turned to the maid. “Do what you can to fix this.”

“Yes, my lady.” The maid moved in front of the girl and picked up a pair of scissors.

The arlessa hummed softly as she looked down at the child. “Promise to not do anything so rash for puppies again.”

The girl nodded and watched quietly as Isolde walked away, leaving the other woman to snip at the chestnut strands. Kaedence felt uncomfortable with the maid, something about a disinterested stranger being so close to her was unsettling. Isolde had been just as close, if not closer, a moment ago, but there was a softness in her eyes that the servant did not share. It was seeming less and less likely that the arlessa could hate any child. The boy must have been mistaken.

“Maker's Blood, Kaedence, what did you do?!” Eleanor brought her hands to her hips as the Couslands approached the young girl. The maid was more than halfway through the trim, but the former mess was still apparent.

“I-I...” Kaedence was terrified. She had heard that tone of anger and disapproval from her mother before, but never directed at her. Had she really done something so awful? How big of a mistake did she make?

“Your first time out of Highever and you decide to act as unladylike as possible. I know you disliked coming out here, but this is _not_ how you should behave in public.” Eleanor's frown increased with each sentence.

The maid awkwardly turned to the teryna. “The Lady Isolde asked me to fix the girl's hair. Would you prefer I stop so you may take the child?”

Eleanor held her head, mortified. “And the arlessa has seen you...” She looked down at the servant with a sigh. “Please, continue your task.” She stewed in silence, waiting until the maid made her final snip and brushed away the clipped off strands.

“It's only clothes and hair, Eleanor,” Bryce said from her side, trying to calm his wife. “As I said before, she's six. Its not the end of the world.”

“It's actually more than that...” Fergus hesitantly spoke up as the maid moved away, exposing the wrappings. “She's a little injured.”

The frown instantly dropped from Eleanor's face and she knelt before her daughter, lightly touching the swollen ankle. Kaedence flinched away with a squeak of pain. “That settles it. We're going home so you can mend properly.”

Kaedence looked up suddenly. “But we just got here.”

“And you somehow managed to nearly break your ankle in that short amount of time.” Her mother stroked the now chin-length hair with a sigh. She stood back up and turned to the others. “Fergus, go see to it that our things are packed. Bryce, take Kaedence to the carriage.” Eleanor let out a deep sigh. “I will go explain to our hosts that we must be on our way.”

Teryn Cousland slipped the jumper back onto his girl and grabbed her discarded boot. “Come on then, Pup.” He scooped her into his arms and carried her back outside.

Kaedence was torn. She didn't want to get in further trouble by arguing with her parents, but she didn't want to leave yet either. She'd made a friend, a nice boy who made her laugh and seemed to desperately need a friend himself. “Father?” She asked meekly as they crossed the yard.

“Hmm?” Bryce glanced down, but continued walking.

“Can we stop by the stables?” Kaedence gave her best, pleading look complete with trembling lips. It wasn't something she did often, which made the effect all the more potent.

Knowing Eleanor and Fergus would be a while and being unable to say _no_ to his girl's pout, he straightened a little and changed direction. “For a bit. Your mother won't allow us to linger forever.”

When they came close enough, Kaedence called out a hello. A young man stepped out from one of the pens, wiping a hoof pick on his pants. “Can I help you?”

She stiffened, not expecting to see this person. “I... I was looking for the boy who was working in here.” Bryce eyed her and the faint coloring of her cheeks curiously.

“Ah.” The stable hand snorted lightly. “Little brat shirked his duties, so Ahern took him for a lashing.”

Kaedence's eyes widened. “Wha... what? But that's not fair! He didn't do his work because of me, you can't punish him!”

The teen lifted his hands in defense. “Ahern's the horse master and he sets the rules for the stables, little miss. I couldn't stop him if I wanted to.”

She looked down, absolutely devastated. “It's my fault...” She glanced back at the young man, pale eyes filled with remorse. “Can... can you tell him I'm sorry?”

“Sure thing.” He turned away and headed back to the pens. “I'm certain it will be a great comfort as he sleeps on his stomach for the next week.” He had mumbled it under his breath, not intending for the nobles to hear, but they did.

Each sarcastic word was like a punch in the gut and Kaedence wrapped her arms around her father's neck for comfort as he carried her away. She had pulled the boy away from his duties, made him play with her, took up his time when she stupidly got hurt trying to help, and then couldn't even groom the horses right. She'd broken one of her own rules – good people don't hurt their friends.

Bryce set her inside the carriage as servants began loading their luggage and the horses were strapped back in. He frowned sympathetically at Kaedence's mournful expression, knowing she was beating herself up. “I know it doesn't seem fair, but people have to be stick to their duties. That boy knew what he had to do and he made the choice not to do it.” He glanced back at the stables. “I'll admit lashings seems a bit harsh, especially for a child, but it is not our place to step in. We are only guests here.”

“But...” Kaedence tried to hold back the quiver in her voice. “But he must hate me now.”

“Who could hate you?” Bryce smiled gently, wiping at the tears she didn't realize were falling.

Kaedence only cried in response, remembering the boy's answer when she had asked him the same thing. _Lots of people, apparently._ He needed a friend so badly and not only had she failed him, but she had to leave and wouldn't have the chance to make up for it.

Before long, Eleanor and Fergus joined them, both a little concerned by the young girl's quiet sobbing. Bryce looked at them both and shook his head, before preparing to climb into the carriage as well.

“Teryn Cousland!” Isolde called as she quickly approached, holding a small basket in her hands. She spoke with him quietly for a bit and the man nodded, a slow smile on his lips. “Excuse me, sweet girl?” Kaedence locked teary eyes with the arlessa and sniffled. Isolde glanced back at the teryn, but he simply urged her on with a nod and she faced the child once again. “Since you were so eager to see them, I thought perhaps you would like to keep one.” She pulled back the cloth covering the basket to reveal one of the mabari puppies.

Kaedence stared at the animal and hesitantly picked it up, holding it to her shoulder like a baby. It squirmed a little and licked at her tear covered cheek with its small tongue, making her giggle lightly. She looked back at the now smiling woman. “But Lady Isolde... why?”

The arlessa set the basket in the carriage, having placed notes on care and some food inside, and looked up at the child. “Because, though you may not realize it, you have been far kinder to me than many of the other guests here. Because you are sweet girl who needs a fearless companion to guard her.” Isolde reached out and placed her hand lightly on the girl's chest. “But most of all, because you have the heart of a _true_ Fereldan.”

The girl felt like crying again, completely overwhelmed, but she held it back and smiled at the woman instead. There was absolutely no way Isolde was a bad person. “I see why the arl loves you.”

Isolde took a step back and fought off her own tears. “Yes, well, I stand by my reasoning. You'll not get a second puppy from me with all your sweet talk.”

“I believe one pup for my pup is more than enough, Lady Isolde.” Bryce bowed to the arlessa before joining his family. “Thank you.”

They left the castle far behind and headed home, Kaedence scratching the baggy skin of the animal in her lap as she studied the care instructions intently. One of the first things it mentioned was the importance of naming the dog and she gasped in realization. “I don't know his name.”

“He doesn't have one yet, darling.” Eleanor smiled lightly. “You need to name the mabari yourself.”

“No, not him, _him_!” Kaedence motioned to her leg with the parchment.

Her parents were confused, but Fergus smirked. “Who? Your boyfriend?”

“Yes! I don't know his name!”

Eleanor and Bryce both straightened. “Your _what_?!” Bryce paled slightly, recalling the way his daughter blushed when she asked for the boy at the stables. She was only six, how had this happened?

“My friend, the boy. So... boy-friend.” Kaedence stared out the window to Redcliffe in the distance. “He doesn't know mine either... and he doesn't know I'm a girl... I am a bad friend...”

Eleanor let out a relived breath. “Kaedence, darling, that's not what a boyfriend is. You just refer to someone as _friend_ , regardless of gender. A boyfriend is... something you don't have to worry about for a while.”

“And something _I_ don't have to worry about for a while either,” Bryce added as he leaned back against the seat. He looked at his daughter and desperately hoped he was right. “But your pup does need a name. Any ideas?”

Kaedence giggled, recalling each name she and her friend came up with earlier that day. “Oh, I have plenty.”

 


	2. Prologue ~ part 2 ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, its Alistair Appreciation Week on tumblr and I figured it was as good an excuse as any to put up the second part. I still don't know when I will be updating this going forward, but I wanted to at least have the prologue "Kiddy Kae" section completed.

It was two whole years before Teryn Cousland had need to return to Redcliffe, but for Kaedence it might as well have been forever. She'd had little luck forming friendships with children at home, the servants keeping their young ones out of the way of the Couslands and the few nobles that brought along their children for visits were either too old to pay Kaedence the time of day or too whiny to play with properly. She'd lost count of how many times another child – boy or girl, it made no difference – began wailing when they became even a little bit dirty during a game.

Fergus had left to train in Antiva the year before, an idea he apparently got from Nathaniel Howe, and Kaedence missed him dearly. She didn't think she would at first, but as the months wore on the castle just seemed so empty without his teasing. If it weren't for her dog, Kaedence would surely have gone insane from sheer boredom. Playing with the mabari only did so much to stave off the loneliness, so when she overheard her father arranging the trip south, she practically threw herself at his feet to take her with him.

This time, Kaedence promised to be on her best behavior and stay in her girly clothes. In fact, oddly enough, she found that she wanted to be seen as girly as possible while in Redcliffe. It would make it harder for the boy in the stables to recognize her, but for some reason she wanted – _needed_ – him to know she was a girl. They'd only known each other for maybe an hour, but she looked back on that hour every day, marveling at how quickly he had made her feel welcome, how easily he made her laugh. Sometimes she'd think of his grin and her chest would tighten, something she still couldn't explain, but often she'd wonder if he still thought of her too.

 

True to her word, Kaedence held herself like a lady the entire journey, despite her only company being her father and her dog, Bann. Oh, she'd wanted to use so many of the names she and the boy came up with, but while her father had laughed, her mother flatly refused. Apparently, naming a dog after actual nobility wasn't very polite.

When they arrived at Redcliffe castle, it took everything Kaedence had to not rush over to the stables. She had made a promise to represent Highever properly, and that meant meeting with the hosts first and foremost. Bryce lead her to the main hall, but her longing glance at the stables did not escape his notice. Maybe he could have found some excuse to visit sooner.

Unlike last time, there was no sense of merriment in the air as the men gathered and Kaedence quickly realized she was the only child there. She was a little unnerved by the amount of armed men in the room and Bann licked her hand reassuringly while Bryce greeted the arl.

“And the little lady visits us as well,” Eamon said gently, bending down slightly to get a better look at the girl.

Kaedence started and blushed in embarrassment for spacing out. “Yes, Arl Eamon.” She held out the skirt of her dress and curtseyed while dipping her head. “Is the Lady Isolde doing well?”

Eamon smiled wider than she thought was possible. “She is doing more than well, and heavy with child.”

Bryce chuckled softly. “So there is the true reason for wanting to take stock of Ferelden's forces. You wish to ensure your babe will be safe.”

The arl straightened, his grin still firmly in place. “Purely coincidental, I assure you.” The men talked for a while and, though she tried her best to stand still, Kaedence began to fidget. Eamon looked at her sympathetically, knowing the talks would be dreadfully boring for the girl, and called over a house guard. “Could you take our young guest to the yard? I believe her companion would enjoy seeing his brothers.”

Kaedence smiled brightly at the arl before following the armored man out of the hall, Bann on her heels. They ended up behind the stables where the kennel master was in the middle of training the mabari. Bann ran forward excitedly, circling the other dogs and breaking their attention from the man.

He looked at the new dog strangely, then noticed the guard and young girl. “Harvey, what's the meaning of this interruption?”

The guard raised his hands in defense. “Arl's orders, Phelan. Said to take this little lady and her dog to meet your charges.”

Phelan eyed Bann more closely, seemingly recognizing him. “Oh yes, the one Arlessa Isolde gave away.” He turned to Kaedence with a smirk. “I take it that makes you the spirited troublemaker. The house guards got quite the earful for letting a small girl run around on her own.”

She lowered her head slightly. “I didn't know I got more people in trouble.”

“More?”

Kaedence glanced to the building beside them, then turned fully to her escort. “Ser knight, may I go to the stables?”

Harvey chuckled. “I'm no knight, little miss, but go right ahead. Call if you need me.”

She sped around the corner excitedly, then slowed and tried to take ladylike steps. She saw no one and took a few moments to straighten her dress and smooth out her braided hair. It had gotten long over the past two years – longer than it was before the unthinking cut – but she hoped that having it pulled back would make it look short enough to be recognized. She carefully opened the gate and stepped inside, heart beating fast as she began to look for her friend. “Hello?”

There was a slight grumble from inside one of the pens. “Hang on,” a gruff voice called back, followed by the sound of metal hitting the ground. A grizzled man stepped into view, dusting off his hands. “Yes? What is it?”

Kaedence jumped slightly at the intimidating sight of the man. “I... I was looking for someone. A boy? Dirty blonde hair. Kind of coppery?”

The man let out a deep sigh. “The bastard.”

“What?” She pulled a face at the word, not understanding.

“The boy who worked and slept in here, right?” The man continued. “Well, he's not here anymore. Good riddance, I say.”

“Not here? Did he change jobs?”

The man seemed to become annoyed by her questions. “Don't know, don't care, but the bastard isn't here.”

It was obvious he was done talking to her, so Kaedence slumped her shoulders and went back to the dogs. Bann had quickly fallen in line with the others and together the mabari went through their training regimen under the stern eyes of the kennel master. Harvey looked up as she approached, frowning a little at the drastic change in attitude. “Find what you needed in the stables?”

“No,” she mumbled and Kaedence realized she really did need her friend. Needed to know where he was. She looked up at the guard hopefully. “Do you know where the stable boy went? The man in there would only say he wasn't there anymore.”

He shook his head. “Sorry. I've only been here a few months and the youngest stable hand I know of is no boy.” The man scratched at his neck, not enjoying being on the receiving end of a little girl's disheartened pout. “I'm sure someone knows something.”

The girl hummed quietly and turned to the dogs, silently watching them train and using the distraction to keep her from sinking further into despair.

 

Kaedence had remained quiet all throughout supper, smiling only when Lady Isolde offered her to feel the baby's kicking. The Orlesian was indeed heavy with child, expected to give birth within a few weeks, and absolutely glowing. When Kaedence gently placed her head against the swell of the woman's stomach, she felt the babe kick her nearly in the eye and insisted that he did it on purpose as a warning shot. She took it to mean he didn't want her touching him or his mother and finished the rest of the meal at her father's side.

It was so strange for the girl to be this withdrawn and Bryce knew it had to be more than her trying to stay out of trouble. “What's wrong, pup?” He asked softly as he pulled the blanket over her that night.

Bann jumped up on the covers and circled a little before settling down at her side, just within reach in case the girl needed him. Kaedence scratched the dog's head and slowly looked up at her father. “He's gone.”

“Your friend?”

She nodded. “I asked, but no one can tell me where he is. Do you think he ran away because the horse master was cruel to him?”

“Did your friend seem the type to run away?”

Kaedence hummed quietly. “No...”

“Maybe he was only being squired here for a short time. I'm sure the Arl knows what became of the boy.” Bryce smiled softly and patted her head. “I'll ask him for you tomorrow. Maybe your friend's closer to home now.”

The thought instantly lifted her spirits and Kaedence smiled widely at the teryn. “Would you please?”

“Of course, pup.” Bryce bent down and kissed her forehead before snuffing out the lights and falling asleep.

~~  
Though her friend was not there, Kaedence still kept to her promise and acted as polite and proper as she could. Not wanting to be in anyone's way, she asked her new escort to take her to the castle library and stayed in there the entire morning. She managed to find an unnamed journal with personal accounts of the rebellion and sat in an armchair reading it as she kicked her legs absentmindedly. The fighting and strategies pulled her in so completely, it was almost like she was there in the thick of battle with her mighty war-hound at her side.

“Lady Kaedence?”

She jumped at the sudden call from reality and slammed the book shut. “Y-yes?”

Arl Eamon smiled down at her sadly. “May I join you?”

It seemed an odd request, as this was his home. “Yes?” She said again.

The man pulled up a cushioned foot rest and sat down before the girl, the lower seat making him almost eye level. “I understand you were looking for someone. I thought it best if I spoke to you myself.”

Kaedence straightened and gripped the journal tightly, eyes hopeful. “The boy from the stables?”

He nodded, but did not share her excitement. “He has been sent away...”

“Oh.” She lowered her head a little. “Will he come back?”

Eamon sighed a little. “No. He is not coming back.”

The girl slumped into the chair. “Ever?”

“It does not seem likely.”

“We... well where is he? Can I visit?”

The arl looked at her carefully, watching the hope slowly dwindle from her pale eyes. “I'm afraid not. It is not a place girls are allowed.”

Kaedence jumped to her feet and threw the journal violently across the room, pages spilling out and fluttering to the floor. “That's not fair! Why did you do that! He was my friend!” She turned her tear-streaked face to the arl, trying to frown angrily at him but failing miserably. Her tight lips quivered as she fought back the sobs and beat her hand against the man's chest. She expected Eamon to stop her or yell at her, but he just let her whack her fists as the hot tears ran down her cheeks. The anger subsided and all she was left with was the crushing feeling in her chest, as though she had been beating herself this whole time.

“I'm sorry.”

She couldn't bring herself to look up at the arl and simply sniffled. “Why did you have to send him away?”

He struggled to find the right words. “He just... could not be here any longer.”

“You couldn't have hated him,” Kaedence began in a mumble. “Good people can't hate children. It's a rule...”

Eamon looked at her curiously. “A rule? For the... people code?”

The girl raised her reddened eyes. “How do you know about that?”

The man smiled softly and wiped at her tears. “So that was you. He said he made a friend who had a lot of rules, but the boy disappeared on him. He took those rules to heart, you know. You were good for him.” Eamon patted her shoulder and sighed. “I am sorry I could not have been better for him.”

 

 


End file.
